It may seem silly but today I'm thankful for coffee. Actually, I am very thankful for coffee most days, especially in the morning. Today was a gray, wet and cool fall day--a perfect day for a big mug of hot coffee. You're probably assuming that its just the caffeine that I like or crave, but actually, we make our coffee primarily decaf (in an attempt to not be totally addicted to caffeine). So, its less about the caffeine and more about the comfort.
Coffee has long been a conduit of developing relationships for me. In college, my roommate and I would frequently head into Chicago (from Wheaton) to different eclectic coffeeshops where we would study and drink coffee by the hours. Sometimes we stayed in the suburbs and I'd head to the local Caribou with friends for "study dates."
A long time ago when I first met my friends Sead & Tamara, who had recently moved to the US, we weren't able to speak to each other because we spoke different languages. We were however able to sit across from each other and enjoy a cup of coffee. They suffered through my American version of coffee and I was treated to a very strong cup of Bosnian coffee. Over many cups of coffee, we got to know each other and able to understand each other more. Coffee can bridge language barriers.
The first few weeks of dating Jon (who is now my husband) consisted of many coffee dates. We actually were teased about how frequently we met up for coffee in the early days of our relationship. Our coffee dates ranged in their scope and included the following: independent shops like the Bourgeois Pig, chain restaurants like Cheesecake Factory, the 95th floor lounge of the John Hancock building, a dive dinner on the south side of the city and even a trip to the grocery store to buy supplies so that we could make the coffee at the house he lived in with 5 roommates (because nothing says romantic coffee date like hanging out in a house full of 20 something guys and their levels of cleanliness). Coffee can fuel a new romance.
Coffee has become a staple in my life. It seems to be a great way to spend time with people. Just this week, I had a playdate with another mom who I recently met and don't know very well. Our plan had been to meet at a local play area with our younger children while the older ones were in school. When we got to the play area, her son didn't want to go in, he just wanted to go home. So, she invited us over to their house. We spent a lovely morning chatting and getting to know each other over a pot of coffee while our boys warmed up to each other and played. Two weeks ago, the ladies from my small group got together for a coffee playdate. The big kids played downstairs, the babies toddled around the living room, and the four of us moms sat around chatting while holding our coffee cups. Coffee can grow relationships, both new and old.
Coffee opens doors relationally which is one of the main reasons that I am thankful for it. Of course, it doesn't hurt that it tastes delicious and has a little pick me up from the caffeine. I am keeping up with four REALLY active boys after all. I'll take all the help I can get!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Day 5
This past weekend at church, the sermon was about Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. If you are a Shauna Niequist fan too after reading Bittersweet, you can hear the message if you click this link (http://media.willowcreek.org/). Anyway, the message got me thinking about the people outside of my family that shape who I am. The first picture that came to my mind was my friends. The women in my life that share day to day life with me.
Day 5: I am thankful for the friendships I have with my girlfriends. We share ordinary things together like recipes, maternity clothes, books and coffee (lots and lots of coffee). We tell each other our stories over playdates despite a million interruptions from the kids or during outdoor runs through the neighborhood while trying to catch our breath. And every once in a while, we get out for a much needed "girls night" where we dress in clothes that haven't been spit up or snotted on yet. We meet up at non-kid friendly restaurants where we leisurely eat and just talk for hours and hours.
These women are the ones who have babysat my children so I could volunteer at a school event for another child, take a child to the doctor, or travel home for my sister's baby shower. They are the women who brought me meals after each of my children were born. They are the friends who come into my house and see past the clutter in my entryway, the crumbs on my kitchen floor and the folded laundry sitting in baskets waiting to be put away. Even more than the practical help they give me, they share themselves. These are the friends who talk to me about the babies that they've lost I never got to meet, the tough times in their marriages and decisions they are mulling over. These girlfriends have invited me into the sacred parts of who they are and they have seen the real me (and they still are friends with me).
I am so very thankful for my girlfriends. They challenge me to see things in different ways, encourage me when I'm losing perspective, and teach me about so many things. They've taught me big things like how to have Faith despite painful loss and smaller things like how to make a photo collage in Picasa or freeze cookie dough so I can always have some on hand (very important for those cookie dough cravings).
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Day 4
Today I am thankful for medical care. Sometimes I take it for granted how easily I can obtain medical care for myself and my family And not just basic medical care--luxuries like immunizations, dental care, speech services, well-child checkups, medicine and surgical procedures.
Caleb has had a cold off and on for the past two weeks. In the last 24 hours, I was pretty certain that he had an ear infection. It took one three minute phone call and a quick trip to the doctor's office to confirm it. Now we have prescription medicine and our little guy will be feeling better in no time. This is not the case for everyone in our country and most certainly not for everyone in the world.
I don't spend my nights awake worrying about how I will get my children to the doctor when they are sick. I don't have to make tough decisions on which child I will give medicine to, I am able to give it to all of them as needed. I have access to doctors, hospitals, and medicine basically at the drop of a hat.
In fact, all four of my children were born via c-section. I only recently learned about obstructed births and the subsequent fistulas that are often caused by it in the developing world. If not for medical care, my children or I might not be here today. So far, three of our children have had to have tubes surgically placed in their ears. Here in suburbia this is routine. Its a simple outpatient procedure. The tubes not only kept them from getting repeat ear infections and being in pain each time, it also improved their ability to hear and their language skills.
Sometimes I am tempted to complain about the copays for medical services then I remember what a privilege it is to even have insurance and the ability to access medical care. I am not saying that it isn't sometimes a financial sacrifice to pay for medical things (we are three years into private therapy services for our twins). What I am saying is that I am thankful that it is almost always a decision of when and where to get the medical treatment for us, not if. That is a huge difference and for that I am thankful.
Caleb has had a cold off and on for the past two weeks. In the last 24 hours, I was pretty certain that he had an ear infection. It took one three minute phone call and a quick trip to the doctor's office to confirm it. Now we have prescription medicine and our little guy will be feeling better in no time. This is not the case for everyone in our country and most certainly not for everyone in the world.
I don't spend my nights awake worrying about how I will get my children to the doctor when they are sick. I don't have to make tough decisions on which child I will give medicine to, I am able to give it to all of them as needed. I have access to doctors, hospitals, and medicine basically at the drop of a hat.
In fact, all four of my children were born via c-section. I only recently learned about obstructed births and the subsequent fistulas that are often caused by it in the developing world. If not for medical care, my children or I might not be here today. So far, three of our children have had to have tubes surgically placed in their ears. Here in suburbia this is routine. Its a simple outpatient procedure. The tubes not only kept them from getting repeat ear infections and being in pain each time, it also improved their ability to hear and their language skills.
Sometimes I am tempted to complain about the copays for medical services then I remember what a privilege it is to even have insurance and the ability to access medical care. I am not saying that it isn't sometimes a financial sacrifice to pay for medical things (we are three years into private therapy services for our twins). What I am saying is that I am thankful that it is almost always a decision of when and where to get the medical treatment for us, not if. That is a huge difference and for that I am thankful.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
30 days of Thankfulness
Thanksgiving. Yes, its a holiday, but its can also be a verb: the act of giving thanks or grateful acknowledgement of blessings. I realize that the blessings in my own life are too numerous to spend only one day a year acknowledging them. Some people might consider it cheesy or cliche, but I am going to jump on the bandwagon of people who are daily listing something or someone that they are thankful for and why.
I had good intentions of doing a single blog entry each day for this, but its November 3rd and I am obviously behind, so there is gonna be some doubling, or in this case tripling up. I blame the craziness of Halloween for November sneaking up on me. I had no idea it was November 3rd already. I only realized it today when I went to use a Groupon that had expired on November 1st..whoops!
So, here's a little catching up.
Day 1: I'm thankful for motherhood. Being a mom has been the most life-changing, challenging and rewarding job that I've experienced. A long time ago, I use to wonder if I'd ever become a mom. Many years later, my arms and my heart are full. Pretty much nothing about my journey of motherhood is how I pictured it as a teenager or young adult. Getting pregnant didn't initially come as easily as I had hoped, our first pregnancy gave us two babies instead of one (surprise, surprise), and we lost our 4th baby to a miscarriage but through all of that God has blessed us immeasurably. Today, we have four active and healthy boys. These boys keep me laughing daily, provide me with more loads of laundry than seems possible and teach me so much about life. I am thankful that I get to be their Mommy.
Day 2: I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful that after an ambiguous double date with my roommate and his best friend 12 years ago that he left behind his winter coat at my apartment (Yes, he left his coat behind in Chicago in January--very strategic).
I'm even more thankful that the next week when he showed up to get his coat back and take me out for coffee that he didn't run the other way when we misunderstood each other and I ruined what should have been our first date. I apparently didn't realize he was asking just me out, so I thought it was another group date and had told my roommate to come with us. I expected it would be the four of us. It was not. It was three of us and slightly awkward. I'm thankful that he powered through that and asked me out again.
I'm thankful that 11 years ago this month, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Best decision ever. I'm thankful that I get to share this loud, busy life with him. I'm thankful that he supports me in my goals, listens to the many, many words I have to say each day, makes me laugh and that he loves to cook dinner for us. I'm thankful that he is willing to run with me for miles and miles and then let me have the hot shower first when we get home from said run. I am blessed beyond measure.
Day 3: I'm thankful for grandparents. Mine are both in heaven now, but their influence in my life has had a lasting and profound impact.
They invested so much time, love and energy in me as a child and teenager. I could write a book on the ways that they've made me who I am today. A huge part of the reason that I came to college here and wanted to live in the Chicago area as an adult was because my childhood is filled with amazing stories of their growing up and young married life here in the suburbs of Chicago. When I was 8 years old, they brought me on a trip to Chicago with them.
I spent two weeks seeing their childhood homes, meeting second cousins and relatives I had heard stories about, seeing where they got married, and taking the train downtown. I loved it. I made a very detailed scrapbook of that trip. Chicago was magical to me. And that is a big part of the reason that I landed here.
My Grandpa was an avid exerciser. Well before I was born, he had a heart attack, his first of three. He had to make drastic changes to his diet and the prognosis was not good. He went on to live a long time (decades not years) after that first heart attack due to his lifestyle changes. As a young child, I would do exercises with him on his living room floor. During his elderly years, he would go to the local mall on a daily basis and walk laps. When I was home on college breaks, I would go with him sometimes. After he passed away, he left us some money. I used that money to buy our treadmill. Every time I get on that treadmill I think how he would get a hoot out of the fact that his grandchildren run marathons now.
My Grandmother would have me over regularly for tea and use her fine china. We would sit around and talk. I remember man of the stories well. She passed on family history to me. Stories about her daughter (my aunt) that I never got to meet. Stories about how God provided for them in tangible ways (groceries showing up on their doorstep when they were out of food). I cherish those memories. She also taught me practical things like how to clean baseboards, to bake and how to crochet (although I completely forgot those skills).
Right now, my children have all four of their grandparents in their lives. Since mine had such a lasting impact on me, I am so grateful that my children are building these memories and relationships with their grandparents. They have one set of grandparents that live twenty minutes away and get to build weekly memories with them including sleepovers (I'm not sure who is more excited about those, the kids or Jon & I) and going to church with them on Sunday mornings (Our church meets on Saturday night, so the kids "double dip".)
The other set of grandparents live farther away (a 10-12 hour drive to be exact), but distance doesn't stop meaningful relationships. We have built special memories with them during our annual vacations to places like the beach, Disney world, and Oregon. We visit their home in Pennsylvania at least twice a year and the boys LOVE going there. And on a few occasions, they have visited Grandma Mary & Pa Lynn's house without us (so that we could go on vacation). Again, I think its a tie for who is more excited about those trips.
I had good intentions of doing a single blog entry each day for this, but its November 3rd and I am obviously behind, so there is gonna be some doubling, or in this case tripling up. I blame the craziness of Halloween for November sneaking up on me. I had no idea it was November 3rd already. I only realized it today when I went to use a Groupon that had expired on November 1st..whoops!
So, here's a little catching up.
Day 1: I'm thankful for motherhood. Being a mom has been the most life-changing, challenging and rewarding job that I've experienced. A long time ago, I use to wonder if I'd ever become a mom. Many years later, my arms and my heart are full. Pretty much nothing about my journey of motherhood is how I pictured it as a teenager or young adult. Getting pregnant didn't initially come as easily as I had hoped, our first pregnancy gave us two babies instead of one (surprise, surprise), and we lost our 4th baby to a miscarriage but through all of that God has blessed us immeasurably. Today, we have four active and healthy boys. These boys keep me laughing daily, provide me with more loads of laundry than seems possible and teach me so much about life. I am thankful that I get to be their Mommy.
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| August 2012 |
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| August 2012 |
Day 2: I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful that after an ambiguous double date with my roommate and his best friend 12 years ago that he left behind his winter coat at my apartment (Yes, he left his coat behind in Chicago in January--very strategic).
I'm even more thankful that the next week when he showed up to get his coat back and take me out for coffee that he didn't run the other way when we misunderstood each other and I ruined what should have been our first date. I apparently didn't realize he was asking just me out, so I thought it was another group date and had told my roommate to come with us. I expected it would be the four of us. It was not. It was three of us and slightly awkward. I'm thankful that he powered through that and asked me out again.
I'm thankful that 11 years ago this month, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Best decision ever. I'm thankful that I get to share this loud, busy life with him. I'm thankful that he supports me in my goals, listens to the many, many words I have to say each day, makes me laugh and that he loves to cook dinner for us. I'm thankful that he is willing to run with me for miles and miles and then let me have the hot shower first when we get home from said run. I am blessed beyond measure.
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| Good Friday 2002 Hours after we got engaged. |
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| August 2012 |
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| August 2012: He still sweeps me off my feet. |
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| One of my favorite pictures of my grandparents. This was at my brother's wedding. I think I love it because it shows how in love with each other they were even after 50+ years. They were the cutest! |
I spent two weeks seeing their childhood homes, meeting second cousins and relatives I had heard stories about, seeing where they got married, and taking the train downtown. I loved it. I made a very detailed scrapbook of that trip. Chicago was magical to me. And that is a big part of the reason that I landed here.
My Grandpa was an avid exerciser. Well before I was born, he had a heart attack, his first of three. He had to make drastic changes to his diet and the prognosis was not good. He went on to live a long time (decades not years) after that first heart attack due to his lifestyle changes. As a young child, I would do exercises with him on his living room floor. During his elderly years, he would go to the local mall on a daily basis and walk laps. When I was home on college breaks, I would go with him sometimes. After he passed away, he left us some money. I used that money to buy our treadmill. Every time I get on that treadmill I think how he would get a hoot out of the fact that his grandchildren run marathons now.
My Grandmother would have me over regularly for tea and use her fine china. We would sit around and talk. I remember man of the stories well. She passed on family history to me. Stories about her daughter (my aunt) that I never got to meet. Stories about how God provided for them in tangible ways (groceries showing up on their doorstep when they were out of food). I cherish those memories. She also taught me practical things like how to clean baseboards, to bake and how to crochet (although I completely forgot those skills).
Right now, my children have all four of their grandparents in their lives. Since mine had such a lasting impact on me, I am so grateful that my children are building these memories and relationships with their grandparents. They have one set of grandparents that live twenty minutes away and get to build weekly memories with them including sleepovers (I'm not sure who is more excited about those, the kids or Jon & I) and going to church with them on Sunday mornings (Our church meets on Saturday night, so the kids "double dip".)
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| Grandma & Grandpa Shogren with our littlest at his baby dedication. June 2012 |
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| Grandma Mary & Pa Lynn with their grandchildren. Well, all but the newest one (Harvey) who is only two months old. December 2011 |
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| Pa Lynn and Grandma Mary |
Thursday, November 1, 2012
I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toy R Us Kid
I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us Kid
There's a million toys at Toys R Us that I can play with
From bikes to trains to video games, they're the biggest toy store there is
Gee whiz!
I don't wanna grow up because maybe if I did
I wouldn't be a Toys R Us Kid
More games, more toys, oh boy!
I wanna be a Toys R Us Kid.
What can I say? I grew up in the 80s. This song has been stuck in my head since my conversation with Aaron tonight. If you know it, good luck getting it out of your head now.
Tonight our family went to Chuck E Cheese for the twins' soccer team party celebrating the end of the season. After my post about the chaos and tantrums of Halloween, you're probably wondering if I'm a glutton for punishment. Going to there the night after Halloween when we're still coming down from a sugar and party high.
It was the first time, we've ventured to the good old Chuck E Cheese (formerly known as Show Biz Pizza) in at least a year or so. It was amazing how grown up our kids were compared to our previous visits. And yes, I realize that sounds ridiculous as they are in kindergarten, preschool and diapers. But seriously. It was almost relaxing. A trip to Chuck E Cheese was enjoyable and not just for the kids, the parents too. Which I know sounds equally ridiculous and no, I have not been drinking.
First off, it was a school night, so it wasn't too crowded. Secondly, all of our kids fed themselves and there were no spills. Thirdly, there wasn't a single fight, complaining or whining.
We were able to mostly sit at the table and visit with the other parents (while Caleb was in a high chair). The big boys came back and forth playing games and then showing off their tickets. At first, I couldn't find Aaron to give him his share of tokens, when I did find him, he was playing skee ball (a family favorite) next to Andrew. I asked him how he was able to play and he said that Andrew had shared tokens with him. Melt my heart. I know it doesn't seem like much, but this is huge progress as far as I'm concerned. I mean, if you have four little testosterone carriers in your house full of competition, male bravado and thrill-seeking---you know why this was huge. I had only doled out 5 tokens to each boy (and those tokens go FAST) so the fact that Andrew would willingly share one or two without being asked made my heart smile.
At one point, I mentioned to Jon (I thought out of Aaron's hearing range) how grown up he seemed to me tonight. Fishing tokens out of his jean pockets, counting tickets, and playing games on his own. Not a single tear, tantrum or cry of frustration.
On the drive home, Jon and I remarked how much calmer of an outing that was than a year ago. And then we told the boys that it was so enjoyable that we'd actually consider going back just for fun. Jon said that they acted older than their age. Aaron asked how old. So he told him that he seemed like he was 5 and the twins seemed like they were 8. Everyone seemed pleased.
About an hour later, Aaron got out of bed, came downstairs and burst into tears. It took me a few minutes to decipher what he was broken-hearted about. When I did, I almost cried too. His exact words were "I'm sad because I don't want to be an adult." Apparently, all our talk of them maturing and acting so grown up for their age had him worried that adulthood would be here too soon. Don't worry Aaron, mommy cries about this from time to time too like when your brothers started preschool, the night before Caleb was born and I knew you'd no longer be my baby, and at the end of Caleb's first birthday when I rocked him to sleep and tucked him in. You're not alone buddy!
I held him for a few minutes and we calmly talked about how it would be many, many years before he is an adult. We decided about 15 (maybe longer?). He eventually calmed down and realized that it wouldn't be happening in the morning. I'm guessing he could not handle watching the Tom Hanks movie BIG right now.
I'm not surprised that my sweet middle child stresses about growing up too quickly. He is chasing after two big brother examples most of his time and he is exposed to things earlier than his older brothers were after all, that is the nature of being a subsequent sibling. Aaron is by nature more sensitive. His feelings are bruised easily and he cannot handle discipline even in the least stern voice possible. There are positives to this as he can be endearingly sweet and has a great heart for others, but the drawback is that I think he can become overwhelmed more easily by life.
Its ironic to be comforting him about this issue when I struggle with it from time to time and spend time trying to protect him from seeing, hearing or experiencing things that are not age-appropriate. I'm not saying I'm always rational about this. Thankfully tonight I was. Last week when I was having a particularly stressful day with lots of decisions to be made, I decided to run wild with it and start worrying about all sorts of future decisions. One decision was whether we should send Aaron to kindergarten in 2013 or 2014 (he has a summer birthday). I'm not sure why I thought that decision needed to be made on October 23st, 2012, but my irrational self did spend a good hour or two getting worked up about it before realizing I was being silly.
Time cannot be stopped. Time does not stand still. There are seasons of life. It reminds me of the Bible verse Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die.
In this season, I am a mom. Specifically, I am a mom to little ones. I am still changing diapers, wiping bottoms, clipping nails, reading for them, teaching them skills for day to day living (ie..washing hands, not picking your nose, and definitely not storing your boogers on my living room wall) picking them up and carrying them. I struggle with accomplishing what I need to (laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands) and just enjoying the moment. I often feel pressure to enjoy this time even more than I already am because it is only a season. The goal of my job as a mother is to work myself out of a job. My mothering goal with these four little boys is not to teach them to be dependent on me but rather to become independent men. The goal is for them to need me less and less over time. I know this truth, but it doesn't mean it will always be easy. This struggle often sends me to call my own mom and tell her thank you for doing this for me, or to ask her how she ever managed to let go when all you want to do is to hold on tight.
While I comforted Aaron tonight that 15 years is very, very far away, I know in my heart it will be here before I know it (and if I'm honest probably before I'm 100% ready for it myself). I'll be standing there wondering when my sweet four-year-old who cried and snuggled in my arms about not wanting to grown up turned into an adult man. I cannot imagine that moment right now because the little boy in buzz lightyear pjs that I just tucked into bed still depends on me for so many things. So, for now, I will do those things for him and teach him how to do them for himself. I will hold him and reassure him when he cries about not wanting to grow up and at the same time, I will let go little by little until he has grown up completely.
There's a million toys at Toys R Us that I can play with
From bikes to trains to video games, they're the biggest toy store there is
Gee whiz!
I don't wanna grow up because maybe if I did
I wouldn't be a Toys R Us Kid
More games, more toys, oh boy!
I wanna be a Toys R Us Kid.
What can I say? I grew up in the 80s. This song has been stuck in my head since my conversation with Aaron tonight. If you know it, good luck getting it out of your head now.
Tonight our family went to Chuck E Cheese for the twins' soccer team party celebrating the end of the season. After my post about the chaos and tantrums of Halloween, you're probably wondering if I'm a glutton for punishment. Going to there the night after Halloween when we're still coming down from a sugar and party high.
It was the first time, we've ventured to the good old Chuck E Cheese (formerly known as Show Biz Pizza) in at least a year or so. It was amazing how grown up our kids were compared to our previous visits. And yes, I realize that sounds ridiculous as they are in kindergarten, preschool and diapers. But seriously. It was almost relaxing. A trip to Chuck E Cheese was enjoyable and not just for the kids, the parents too. Which I know sounds equally ridiculous and no, I have not been drinking.
First off, it was a school night, so it wasn't too crowded. Secondly, all of our kids fed themselves and there were no spills. Thirdly, there wasn't a single fight, complaining or whining.
We were able to mostly sit at the table and visit with the other parents (while Caleb was in a high chair). The big boys came back and forth playing games and then showing off their tickets. At first, I couldn't find Aaron to give him his share of tokens, when I did find him, he was playing skee ball (a family favorite) next to Andrew. I asked him how he was able to play and he said that Andrew had shared tokens with him. Melt my heart. I know it doesn't seem like much, but this is huge progress as far as I'm concerned. I mean, if you have four little testosterone carriers in your house full of competition, male bravado and thrill-seeking---you know why this was huge. I had only doled out 5 tokens to each boy (and those tokens go FAST) so the fact that Andrew would willingly share one or two without being asked made my heart smile.
At one point, I mentioned to Jon (I thought out of Aaron's hearing range) how grown up he seemed to me tonight. Fishing tokens out of his jean pockets, counting tickets, and playing games on his own. Not a single tear, tantrum or cry of frustration.
On the drive home, Jon and I remarked how much calmer of an outing that was than a year ago. And then we told the boys that it was so enjoyable that we'd actually consider going back just for fun. Jon said that they acted older than their age. Aaron asked how old. So he told him that he seemed like he was 5 and the twins seemed like they were 8. Everyone seemed pleased.
About an hour later, Aaron got out of bed, came downstairs and burst into tears. It took me a few minutes to decipher what he was broken-hearted about. When I did, I almost cried too. His exact words were "I'm sad because I don't want to be an adult." Apparently, all our talk of them maturing and acting so grown up for their age had him worried that adulthood would be here too soon. Don't worry Aaron, mommy cries about this from time to time too like when your brothers started preschool, the night before Caleb was born and I knew you'd no longer be my baby, and at the end of Caleb's first birthday when I rocked him to sleep and tucked him in. You're not alone buddy!
I held him for a few minutes and we calmly talked about how it would be many, many years before he is an adult. We decided about 15 (maybe longer?). He eventually calmed down and realized that it wouldn't be happening in the morning. I'm guessing he could not handle watching the Tom Hanks movie BIG right now.
I'm not surprised that my sweet middle child stresses about growing up too quickly. He is chasing after two big brother examples most of his time and he is exposed to things earlier than his older brothers were after all, that is the nature of being a subsequent sibling. Aaron is by nature more sensitive. His feelings are bruised easily and he cannot handle discipline even in the least stern voice possible. There are positives to this as he can be endearingly sweet and has a great heart for others, but the drawback is that I think he can become overwhelmed more easily by life.
Its ironic to be comforting him about this issue when I struggle with it from time to time and spend time trying to protect him from seeing, hearing or experiencing things that are not age-appropriate. I'm not saying I'm always rational about this. Thankfully tonight I was. Last week when I was having a particularly stressful day with lots of decisions to be made, I decided to run wild with it and start worrying about all sorts of future decisions. One decision was whether we should send Aaron to kindergarten in 2013 or 2014 (he has a summer birthday). I'm not sure why I thought that decision needed to be made on October 23st, 2012, but my irrational self did spend a good hour or two getting worked up about it before realizing I was being silly.
Time cannot be stopped. Time does not stand still. There are seasons of life. It reminds me of the Bible verse Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die.
In this season, I am a mom. Specifically, I am a mom to little ones. I am still changing diapers, wiping bottoms, clipping nails, reading for them, teaching them skills for day to day living (ie..washing hands, not picking your nose, and definitely not storing your boogers on my living room wall) picking them up and carrying them. I struggle with accomplishing what I need to (laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands) and just enjoying the moment. I often feel pressure to enjoy this time even more than I already am because it is only a season. The goal of my job as a mother is to work myself out of a job. My mothering goal with these four little boys is not to teach them to be dependent on me but rather to become independent men. The goal is for them to need me less and less over time. I know this truth, but it doesn't mean it will always be easy. This struggle often sends me to call my own mom and tell her thank you for doing this for me, or to ask her how she ever managed to let go when all you want to do is to hold on tight.
While I comforted Aaron tonight that 15 years is very, very far away, I know in my heart it will be here before I know it (and if I'm honest probably before I'm 100% ready for it myself). I'll be standing there wondering when my sweet four-year-old who cried and snuggled in my arms about not wanting to grown up turned into an adult man. I cannot imagine that moment right now because the little boy in buzz lightyear pjs that I just tucked into bed still depends on me for so many things. So, for now, I will do those things for him and teach him how to do them for himself. I will hold him and reassure him when he cries about not wanting to grow up and at the same time, I will let go little by little until he has grown up completely.
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| Yes, I did sneak upstairs and take a picture of him sleeping. I wanted to remember this moment. Look how peaceful he is just 30 minutes after a long cry about not wanting to grow up. |
Trick (for the parents) and Treat (for the kids)?
Yesterday was Halloween, not today. However, I feel like today is just a continuation of the festivities. My middle brought home a painted pumpkin today from preschool. My twins got to wear costumes and trick or treat at the clinic where they get speech therapy each week. And Caleb and I scoured the clearance Halloween costume section at Target while waiting for the big brothers to finish up at their activities (FYI, we did score an Obi Wan Kenobi and a Green Lizard costume). And, there is candy EVERYWHERE in my house. I just rounded it all up from the bedrooms, backpacks, goody bags, and cupholders in the car and now there is about 50 pounds of candy sitting out in our kitchen. In case you think I'm exaggerating, here is proof.
Like all holidays in our house since having children, yesterday was jam-packed with fun activities, picture taking, silliness, food and a few tantrums for good measure!
First on the agenda were the school parties. I got to help at the twins' parties. I split my time between the two classes so I got to see them both. In the chaos of running back and forth to see them both in the parade and help at both parties, I forgot to get a picture of me with each of them (proof for later in life that I was there just in case they don't remember). Oh well! Perhaps next year I won't get frazzled and forget in the chaos. I did get manage to get a few pictures.
Here with some classmate friends
At the start of the school parade
Finishing up the parade and giving high-fives to the older kids on their way back to the classroom.
Making each other into mummies
Game time
After school, we jetted home to meet up with the 2 littles. The very littlest had been napping soundly until someone (who shall remain nameless but likes to wear blue a lot because it rhymes with his name) decided to literally swing on the adjoining bedroom door and scream thereby waking up the sleeping littlest boy. Since we were all awake, we decided to bundle up and trick or treat.
We wouldn't want our Halloween costumes to be covered up with coats, so all the boys got out of their costumes and bundled up and then put their costumes on top. This is where it started to get a little dicey. I can't remember exactly what happened, but there was a skirmish and someone's Peter Pan dagger got ripped out of the makeshift holster that I had just created with a rubberband. There were tears from Peter Pan and attitude from Superman. Consequently, Superman was banned from the first few houses of trick or treating. When we attempted to join up, Thor informed Superman about the houses he had missed despite being told not to, so then we had another round of both superheroes banned from the next 2 houses. After that, we seemed to have everyone under control. And, in case you want to blame this on the sugar, the children hadn't even had any yet.
We spent the next hour trick or treating.
The big boys are old enough now that they actually like the houses with spooky and creepy decorations, so we hit up as many of those as we could find.
I think Caleb was too little to realize to be scared of the bloody zombie and creepy Santa Claus that bent down in his face to give him candy. Not my favorite!
When we could no longer carry our bags because they were so heavy, we headed home to debundle and eat dinner. After a quick dinner, we got in our costumes AGAIN (yes for the 3rd time that day) and head off to the Awana Fun Fair. Aaron was dead set on bringing a friend, so we had his good friend Jenna meet us there. As always, she was adorable and sweet.
I spent the next 90 minutes running the ring toss game. All the kids filtered through at one point or another. Both Aaron and Andrew found me and played my game several times. After Awana, James asked me why I didn't follow through with volunteering like I said that I would. Apparently, he did not see me in the gym. Really?!?! He was a little irked that I hadn't sought him out despite the fact that I was running a game by myself.
We came home from Awana with 3 more bags of candy and some prizes (Yes!!! More Sugar). On a sweet note, James did spend some of his fun fair tickets to buy 2 presents for an Operation Christmas Child.
The kids crashed and were asleep within 10 minutes. I sat on the couch last night in a daze. Usually on Wednesday, Jon & I run 8 miles together outside. We didn't have time with all the Halloween partying to do our run. I naively thought that I'd have the energy to a treadmill run after Awana. No way! I had just barely enough energy to let Jon order us a Jet's pizza, have him drive to pick it up and for him to put 2 (I mean 3) slices on a plate for me to eat while I rested on the couch. Seriously! I felt more exhausted than when I run 12 miles.
Like all holidays in our house since having children, yesterday was jam-packed with fun activities, picture taking, silliness, food and a few tantrums for good measure!
First on the agenda were the school parties. I got to help at the twins' parties. I split my time between the two classes so I got to see them both. In the chaos of running back and forth to see them both in the parade and help at both parties, I forgot to get a picture of me with each of them (proof for later in life that I was there just in case they don't remember). Oh well! Perhaps next year I won't get frazzled and forget in the chaos. I did get manage to get a few pictures.
Here with some classmate friends
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| This is Andrew with his buddy Theo. Theo happens to have a twin brother too. |
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| Here is James with Sam (Theo's twin brother). |
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| Andrew is dressed as Thor about 3 kids back in the line. |
Game time
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| Freeze dance game to the Monster Mash song. |
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| Pumpkin Toss |
We wouldn't want our Halloween costumes to be covered up with coats, so all the boys got out of their costumes and bundled up and then put their costumes on top. This is where it started to get a little dicey. I can't remember exactly what happened, but there was a skirmish and someone's Peter Pan dagger got ripped out of the makeshift holster that I had just created with a rubberband. There were tears from Peter Pan and attitude from Superman. Consequently, Superman was banned from the first few houses of trick or treating. When we attempted to join up, Thor informed Superman about the houses he had missed despite being told not to, so then we had another round of both superheroes banned from the next 2 houses. After that, we seemed to have everyone under control. And, in case you want to blame this on the sugar, the children hadn't even had any yet.
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| First attempt at a picture following the tantrums...not everyone is happy yet. |
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| I pulled out the big guns for this one making jokes about boogars to try to get smiles. It didn't work. |
The big boys are old enough now that they actually like the houses with spooky and creepy decorations, so we hit up as many of those as we could find.
I think Caleb was too little to realize to be scared of the bloody zombie and creepy Santa Claus that bent down in his face to give him candy. Not my favorite!
When we could no longer carry our bags because they were so heavy, we headed home to debundle and eat dinner. After a quick dinner, we got in our costumes AGAIN (yes for the 3rd time that day) and head off to the Awana Fun Fair. Aaron was dead set on bringing a friend, so we had his good friend Jenna meet us there. As always, she was adorable and sweet.
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| Aaron stopped by my ring toss game several times. He was definitely the most excited to see me there and gave me hugs each time he played. |
The kids crashed and were asleep within 10 minutes. I sat on the couch last night in a daze. Usually on Wednesday, Jon & I run 8 miles together outside. We didn't have time with all the Halloween partying to do our run. I naively thought that I'd have the energy to a treadmill run after Awana. No way! I had just barely enough energy to let Jon order us a Jet's pizza, have him drive to pick it up and for him to put 2 (I mean 3) slices on a plate for me to eat while I rested on the couch. Seriously! I felt more exhausted than when I run 12 miles.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Welcome to the World Grace
Uncle Mike has long held a special place in our boys' hearts. He is that super fun uncle who is willing to get on the floor and wrestle, head into the backyard and play sports or to dress up like a villian for your superhero birthday party and let 16 kids spray him with silly string at the same time.
Mike also won the award for "Best Brother-in-law Ever" several years ago when he babysit all 3 of our little guys so that Jon could surprise me with a dinner and show in the city for my birthday. At the time, all three boys were in diapers and under the age of 3 so it was very impressive to me that Mike would willingly sign up for it. I know a lot of men who would easily find an excuse to get out of that request!
In June 2011, Mike improved his rankings in our family by marrying Sonja. Here is our family at their wedding.
The boys were smitten with Sonja when they first met her at Aaron's 2nd birthday party.
They counted down the days until they could officially call her Aunt Sonja. At their wedding, Aaron cried when his turn to dance with her was over. Apparently, three-year-olds do not understand the concept of the dollar dance and that it is short-lived.
Earlier this year, we found out that Uncle Mike & Aunt Sonja were expecting a baby. They didn't find out if it was a boy or girl ahead of time, so we were anxiously awaiting the news of Baby Shogren's arrival. You may remember her baby shower (http://outnumbered-ls.blogspot.com/2012/09/what-will-it-bee.html). The boys, especially Aaron, were really hoping for a girl since our family has none.
On October 21st, Grace LaVon arrived weighing 6 pounds 13 ounces. She is gorgeous--a petite, sweet, darling baby girl!!! The boys literally jumped up and down when we told them that she was here and a GIRL. James cried when he heard that Jon & I were going to the hospital to visit Grace and that he couldn't come.
So, we promised that we'd take them to meet Grace as soon as Mike and Sonja were home and up to it. Yesterday, we finally delivered on that promise. Since we are a lot of people, noise and commotion, we stopped by for a very short visit and didn't bring our wildest little one (Caleb) along this time. Here are a few pictures from the boys meeting Grace for the first time.
Then the boys took turns holding her (with some help from mom).
Next they whispered secrets to her like "You're super cute" (James), "I knew you'd be a girl" (Aaron) and "You're even tinier than Harvey" (Andrew).
Before we left, Uncle Mike gave the boys a few minutes of wrestling. I cannot imagine why they like him so much?!?!
We are so thankful that Grace is here and healthy. The fact that she is adorable and sweet is just icing on the cake. God is good! We look forward to watching her grow over the coming years. She is one blessed little girl with a set of awesome parents who love her more than words can say. We also hope to finally repay Uncle Mike & Aunt Sonja (with babysitting services) for the many, many hours of babysitting help that they've given our family over the years.
Mike also won the award for "Best Brother-in-law Ever" several years ago when he babysit all 3 of our little guys so that Jon could surprise me with a dinner and show in the city for my birthday. At the time, all three boys were in diapers and under the age of 3 so it was very impressive to me that Mike would willingly sign up for it. I know a lot of men who would easily find an excuse to get out of that request!
In June 2011, Mike improved his rankings in our family by marrying Sonja. Here is our family at their wedding.
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| I'm about 37 weeks pregnant with Caleb here if you're wondering about the large belly and swollen face. |
They counted down the days until they could officially call her Aunt Sonja. At their wedding, Aaron cried when his turn to dance with her was over. Apparently, three-year-olds do not understand the concept of the dollar dance and that it is short-lived.
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| I'll never forget this look that Aaron gave Sonja: complete love. |
Earlier this year, we found out that Uncle Mike & Aunt Sonja were expecting a baby. They didn't find out if it was a boy or girl ahead of time, so we were anxiously awaiting the news of Baby Shogren's arrival. You may remember her baby shower (http://outnumbered-ls.blogspot.com/2012/09/what-will-it-bee.html). The boys, especially Aaron, were really hoping for a girl since our family has none.
On October 21st, Grace LaVon arrived weighing 6 pounds 13 ounces. She is gorgeous--a petite, sweet, darling baby girl!!! The boys literally jumped up and down when we told them that she was here and a GIRL. James cried when he heard that Jon & I were going to the hospital to visit Grace and that he couldn't come.
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| I will never, ever tire of the miracle of a newborn life and getting to hold a day old baby. There is nothing like it! |
So, we promised that we'd take them to meet Grace as soon as Mike and Sonja were home and up to it. Yesterday, we finally delivered on that promise. Since we are a lot of people, noise and commotion, we stopped by for a very short visit and didn't bring our wildest little one (Caleb) along this time. Here are a few pictures from the boys meeting Grace for the first time.
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| Proud Daddy showing off his baby girl. |
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| Grace in a crowd of boys. |
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| Aaron and baby Grace. |
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| Andrew checking her out. |
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| James' turn. |
Next they whispered secrets to her like "You're super cute" (James), "I knew you'd be a girl" (Aaron) and "You're even tinier than Harvey" (Andrew).
Before we left, Uncle Mike gave the boys a few minutes of wrestling. I cannot imagine why they like him so much?!?!
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