Since I wrote my previous post on focus groups, I've realized that I left some companies off the list and I wanted to be sure to include them for anyone who is wanting to get signed up and make some money trying products or giving your opinions on random topics like dry-erase markers, bacon-packaging, beer or search engines.
Smith Research
Blarry
National Data Research
Precision Research
Focus Pointe Global
I think that I got them all (at least the ones I know about).
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Love Notes
I am a person that loves words, especially written ones. I saved the emails that Jon & I first wrote back and forth to each other when we started dating. I have a box where I store the birthday, thank you, Christmas and Anniversary cards that I have received over the years. Nothing makes my day more than an unexpected card in the mail from a friend, a note left by Jon in the car that I discover when I load the kids up to go run errands or a meaningful email.
While I also love meaningful conversations, I think there is something special (maybe even magical)about putting something heartfelt and honest down in writing. I love holding notes from others in my hand. Often it takes courage to write out something and hand it to another person because its permanent and its requires being intentional, honest and vulnerable.
Sometimes I go back and re-read old letters. Recently, my mom handed me a bag of letters that I had saved from my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college. These letters are from before everyone had texting plans (or even cell phones for that matter), before facebook and right when email was starting to take off. While reading those letters, I laughed, teared up and was amazed by things I'd forgotten. I had letters in there from my grandmother (her last letters to me before she died), friends at other colleges, friends I had left behind at high school, my little sister who was in fourth grade at the time, my parents and my college roommates as we'd send notes back and forth through the campus mail. These letters are precious to me. Some are funny, but many of them are just encouraging and full of updates of what was going on in our lives. What a treasure to have a snapshot into my life and feelings at that time of life so long ago.
In our house full of six people, it is easy for tempers to flare, words to become caustic, tones to become irritated and for verbal fighting. I try hard to say words of love and encouragement to my kids, but I'll be honest, sometimes I fail especially in the moment where there is fighting, tattle tailing, and disrespect. I'm working on this, but I also wanted to try implementing a system where we work to encourage each others, and not just the parents encouraging the kids. The boys encouraging each other too and as it turns out, the boys encouraging the parents as well.
Recently, a friend posted these adorable mini mailboxes that she got at Target's $1 spot. I immediately stole the idea by heading to my target and buying six of them. I did this about two or three weeks ago, but the other day, I finally got around to clearing out a spot in our entryway to set them up.
I explained to the boys that they were to leave notes or little surprises for each other and that you put the flag up when there is something in it. They were immediately excited. They spent about 30 minutes writing notes to each other. They used up all my notecards, so Andrew found some paper and scissors and cute small shapes out to write on. Their spelling is atrocious because they are in Kindergarten and its all phonetic spelling, but its adorable to me.
My first note was this one from James. The translation is
"Dear Mom, Thanks for making food for me. Love, James."
I wrote them simple notes. "Dear Andrew, I love how hard you work at memorizing Awana verses, You Rock! Love, Mommy" or "Dear Aaron, you are so good at doing floor puzzles. I love you my snuggly boy, Mommy" and "Dear James, You work hard to do your homework well. Good job!I love you, Mom" Nothing earth shattering. Just small words of recognition. Small words of encouragement. The notes are just another way to say I see you, I recognize you, You matter to me.
Its amazing what a difference a two sentence note can make in someone's attitude (I know because it does for me, just ask my husband). After I read his note, Aaron immediately went upstairs to do some more floor puzzles and was so proud of himself. While reading Andrew his note, his face beamed and when I read James his note, he laughed a nervous but proud giggle. Caleb isn't phased too much by his notes, but he's only 20 months so that's kinda to be expected.
I know that the newness of these little mailboxes will wear off eventually but I'm hoping that we can always find a way to incorporate writing notes of encouragement to each other (there are so many ways, lunchtime notes, messages on the bathroom mirror, etc). Written words of encouragement are appropriate not just on special occasions, but everyday. Since we put these mailboxes up, I find myself watching my kids more closely for things to recognize and write to them about. And I think that's a good thing.
While I also love meaningful conversations, I think there is something special (maybe even magical)about putting something heartfelt and honest down in writing. I love holding notes from others in my hand. Often it takes courage to write out something and hand it to another person because its permanent and its requires being intentional, honest and vulnerable.
Sometimes I go back and re-read old letters. Recently, my mom handed me a bag of letters that I had saved from my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college. These letters are from before everyone had texting plans (or even cell phones for that matter), before facebook and right when email was starting to take off. While reading those letters, I laughed, teared up and was amazed by things I'd forgotten. I had letters in there from my grandmother (her last letters to me before she died), friends at other colleges, friends I had left behind at high school, my little sister who was in fourth grade at the time, my parents and my college roommates as we'd send notes back and forth through the campus mail. These letters are precious to me. Some are funny, but many of them are just encouraging and full of updates of what was going on in our lives. What a treasure to have a snapshot into my life and feelings at that time of life so long ago.
In our house full of six people, it is easy for tempers to flare, words to become caustic, tones to become irritated and for verbal fighting. I try hard to say words of love and encouragement to my kids, but I'll be honest, sometimes I fail especially in the moment where there is fighting, tattle tailing, and disrespect. I'm working on this, but I also wanted to try implementing a system where we work to encourage each others, and not just the parents encouraging the kids. The boys encouraging each other too and as it turns out, the boys encouraging the parents as well.
Recently, a friend posted these adorable mini mailboxes that she got at Target's $1 spot. I immediately stole the idea by heading to my target and buying six of them. I did this about two or three weeks ago, but the other day, I finally got around to clearing out a spot in our entryway to set them up.
I explained to the boys that they were to leave notes or little surprises for each other and that you put the flag up when there is something in it. They were immediately excited. They spent about 30 minutes writing notes to each other. They used up all my notecards, so Andrew found some paper and scissors and cute small shapes out to write on. Their spelling is atrocious because they are in Kindergarten and its all phonetic spelling, but its adorable to me.
My first note was this one from James. The translation is
"Dear Mom, Thanks for making food for me. Love, James."
I wrote them simple notes. "Dear Andrew, I love how hard you work at memorizing Awana verses, You Rock! Love, Mommy" or "Dear Aaron, you are so good at doing floor puzzles. I love you my snuggly boy, Mommy" and "Dear James, You work hard to do your homework well. Good job!I love you, Mom" Nothing earth shattering. Just small words of recognition. Small words of encouragement. The notes are just another way to say I see you, I recognize you, You matter to me.
Its amazing what a difference a two sentence note can make in someone's attitude (I know because it does for me, just ask my husband). After I read his note, Aaron immediately went upstairs to do some more floor puzzles and was so proud of himself. While reading Andrew his note, his face beamed and when I read James his note, he laughed a nervous but proud giggle. Caleb isn't phased too much by his notes, but he's only 20 months so that's kinda to be expected.
I know that the newness of these little mailboxes will wear off eventually but I'm hoping that we can always find a way to incorporate writing notes of encouragement to each other (there are so many ways, lunchtime notes, messages on the bathroom mirror, etc). Written words of encouragement are appropriate not just on special occasions, but everyday. Since we put these mailboxes up, I find myself watching my kids more closely for things to recognize and write to them about. And I think that's a good thing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Narnia, Narnia & More Narnia
Starting last fall, I began reading through the Narnia books with the twins. They LOVE these books. It is taking us a while to get through them with our other commitments (Awana, sports, etc) & responsibilites (like homework), but right now we are in the middle of The Silver Chair (Book Six).
In addition to reading the books together, the boys also have all 7 Narnia books on audio CD. They sometimes listen to them at bedtime when they're falling asleep, but they will only listen to the books that we've already read together.
I discovered that there was a children's theater production of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe happening nearby, so I decided I would surprise James & Andrew with a date night to go see it. My good friend Yvonne is also reading through the books with her son Joshua (one of the twins' good buddies) so I asked her if she was interested in going too. She said yes and so we had a double date with our eldest son(s).
Here I am with the boys in their "handsome shirts." I don't know how long they'll think its cool to wear button-down dress shirts, but I hope its forever. Even if its just with jeans, I love seeing my little men dressed up.
We went to Jason's Deli for a pre-theater dinner because we're fancy like that. Actually, we went there because I had three vouchers for free kid's meals (courtesy of completing the winter reading program at our library). Also, Jason's deli has free self-serve ice cream for everyone and nothing says fancy date night like a twist ice cream cone. Seriously, my kids are still young enough that the idea of twisting chocolate and vanilla ice cream is novel and excites them.
We arrived early to the play and had some time waiting for it to start, so we worked on making different expressions:
The play production was done really well. All the actors were between 6-18 years old. The boys had lots of questions before the play started. Yvonne and I sat on the ends so that Josh could sit between the twins. It was a good setup except that I realized it put my super talkative son (James) next to her and he barraged her with comments during the play. She was very gracious about it. I don't think he bothered her nearly as much as the woman on her other side who "woohoo-ed" at every scene during the play. I did have the boys switch at intermission.
Overall, it was a very fun night out and I hope to go back and see some other productions by Spotlight Youth Theater with the kids.
In keeping with our current Narnia obsession, tonight we hosted a Narnia movie night with some of our friends. The boys have been begging me to do this forever. Its a long movie, so we had all the kids come in their pjs and eat a picnic-style dinner on the floor. We had pizza, veggies, juice boxes and oranges. After dinner, we broke out a big bowl of popcorn and a dish of Lemonhead candy (courtesy of my current in-home candy taste testing study).
The best part of the night (for me) was that while the kids were watching the movie in the living room, the moms sat around the dining room table eating and chatting.
Jaime brought her amazing salted chocolate chip cookie bars, Yvonne brought a delicious Chardonnay and Ruth brought some more virtuous food (fruit and hummus). I finally got around to trying to make some jalepeno cheesy pull-apart bread that I've seen on pinterest. I also tried my hand at making a flatbread with prosciutto, goat cheese and fig butter. It was a super relaxing night.
The boys all thought that the Battle of Beruna scene was the best part of the movie. So, after the movie was over, they decided to re-enact it. I'm not too surprised. These six kids who just sat for two and a half hours needed to do a little running around.
I'm hoping we can do this version of "movie" night again before too long.
In addition to reading the books together, the boys also have all 7 Narnia books on audio CD. They sometimes listen to them at bedtime when they're falling asleep, but they will only listen to the books that we've already read together.
I discovered that there was a children's theater production of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe happening nearby, so I decided I would surprise James & Andrew with a date night to go see it. My good friend Yvonne is also reading through the books with her son Joshua (one of the twins' good buddies) so I asked her if she was interested in going too. She said yes and so we had a double date with our eldest son(s).
Here I am with the boys in their "handsome shirts." I don't know how long they'll think its cool to wear button-down dress shirts, but I hope its forever. Even if its just with jeans, I love seeing my little men dressed up.
We went to Jason's Deli for a pre-theater dinner because we're fancy like that. Actually, we went there because I had three vouchers for free kid's meals (courtesy of completing the winter reading program at our library). Also, Jason's deli has free self-serve ice cream for everyone and nothing says fancy date night like a twist ice cream cone. Seriously, my kids are still young enough that the idea of twisting chocolate and vanilla ice cream is novel and excites them.
We arrived early to the play and had some time waiting for it to start, so we worked on making different expressions:
SILLY
SHOCKED
HAPPY
The play production was done really well. All the actors were between 6-18 years old. The boys had lots of questions before the play started. Yvonne and I sat on the ends so that Josh could sit between the twins. It was a good setup except that I realized it put my super talkative son (James) next to her and he barraged her with comments during the play. She was very gracious about it. I don't think he bothered her nearly as much as the woman on her other side who "woohoo-ed" at every scene during the play. I did have the boys switch at intermission.
 |
| Yvonne reading the play program to the boys. She's so patient. |
Overall, it was a very fun night out and I hope to go back and see some other productions by Spotlight Youth Theater with the kids.
In keeping with our current Narnia obsession, tonight we hosted a Narnia movie night with some of our friends. The boys have been begging me to do this forever. Its a long movie, so we had all the kids come in their pjs and eat a picnic-style dinner on the floor. We had pizza, veggies, juice boxes and oranges. After dinner, we broke out a big bowl of popcorn and a dish of Lemonhead candy (courtesy of my current in-home candy taste testing study).
 |
Jaime brought her amazing salted chocolate chip cookie bars, Yvonne brought a delicious Chardonnay and Ruth brought some more virtuous food (fruit and hummus). I finally got around to trying to make some jalepeno cheesy pull-apart bread that I've seen on pinterest. I also tried my hand at making a flatbread with prosciutto, goat cheese and fig butter. It was a super relaxing night.
The boys all thought that the Battle of Beruna scene was the best part of the movie. So, after the movie was over, they decided to re-enact it. I'm not too surprised. These six kids who just sat for two and a half hours needed to do a little running around.
I'm hoping we can do this version of "movie" night again before too long.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Focus Groups & Taste Test Studies
When I first became a mom about 7 years ago, my good friend Ruth introduced me to focus groups. At first I was skeptical about them. It seemed too good to be true. I could get paid $100-200 just to sit somewhere for a few hours and tell them my opinions. Ruth is the Queen of focus groups and could probably right a book about all the various topics that she has encountered. I go through seasons of participating in them.
Before Caleb was born, I did them fairly frequently. I went to studies about diapers, juice, bacon packaging (proving that I can talk about ANYTHING for two hours), TV shows, snacks, internet usage and many more. I've also participated in taste tests on ice cream, turkey, starburst, 7up and more. By the way, taste testing thirty samples of the same, but slightly different product is the fastest way to guarantee that you won't want to eat it anytime soon. I also turned down a study on tuna salad. While I occasionally eat tuna salad, I couldn't stomach the thought of a room full of tuna salad samples and tasting it over and over for an hour. Even I have limits to what I'll do to earn $50.
I've just started back up with doing focus groups again. There are multiple reasons. One being we have four children and any extra money is always appreciated. The second is that its kinda fun to get out of the house. Third is that the twins are in school and its much easier to find a friend willing to watch two children than four (my goal is to try to go to the groups without having to pay for babysitting and cutting into my "profits).
This week has been a jackpot week as far as focus groups go, I'm participating in an at-home diaper study for Caleb, a candy study for the rest of us, and I completed a focus group on dry-erase markers. The candy study only pays $40 but it only involved stopping at the company for five minutes, eating candy at home, and filling out a survey online. The diaper study is more involved, but pays $125. I'll be testing four diapers a day, filling out studies and then returning the diapers to the company (yep, returning used diapers). The dry erase marker one was my favorite. They paid me $25 to do homework where I described my favorite dry erase markers and accessories, made a collage and took pictures of where dry erase boards hang in my home. Then I was paid $125 to talk about this with 4 other women for about an hour. They also let us pick out new packs of fancy dry erase markers to take home and keep. Since its something I use and hate spending money on, I was happy. All in all, not a bad week of earnings for this stay-at-home mom.
I've had several people ask me how to get involved. First, you need to find your local focus group companies. They all have websites where you can sign up to join their database. When you sign up, be sure to fill in all the possible areas that apply to you (pets owned, hobbies enjoyed, children) because that data will be what they use to decide who qualifies. They also have different locations where they do studies (some in the city, some in the suburb). I always check that I'm interested in all locations, so that I get called more often, but if you're never going to drive into the city to do one, then say so. If you do go downtown, just make sure that your parking is validated. I'd hate to pay $20 for parking out of my earnings.
Secondly, you should "like" the company on your fb page. They will often post studies that they are trying to fill on facebook, so it is a way to apply to be involved in a study.
Third, you should expect to get phone calls and emails with "screeners" (short questionaires) for you to complete. In order to book you into a focus group, they will need to know a lot of information. Sometimes the phone calls can take 15-20 minutes as they have to have certain criteria met based on what the focus group is trying to accomplish. Some of the recruiters will tell you what they are looking for (to make it easier for you to qualify) and others will just want you to answer it however you would. Also, expect to answer one cheesy question like "If you were a drink, what drink would it be and why?" or "If you could be an animal, what would it be and why?" These are basically tests to see if you're capable of talking and describing reasons why you chose something. This is important because that is what you'll be doing in a focus group. They don't care what your answer is to the question, just that you can think of something and back it up. Thankfully, you'll never see the person you are telling the answer to, so you can be as cheesy and cliche as you want.
The last place I use to find out about focus groups is craigslist. In the Chicago area, focus groups are often advertised on Craigslist. They are under the "Jobs" forum and under the subcategory of "ETC." This will also have jobs for donating your eggs, surrogacy and other part-time jobs. I've participated in several focus groups by finding them on craigslist. I do want to warn you though. Use your judgement. You should never have to give your social security number to participate in a focus group. And you should never have to give bank account information to get paid. I've always been paid in cash or with a check. If it seems fishy, don't do it.
Here are some links to companies that I've participated in focus groups with in the Chicago area if you want to sign up with their database. If there is a chance to say that I referred you, please do. At least one company does a drawing each month and awards giftcards to both the referred and the referring person.
Schlesinger Associates
Focuscope
Delve
Fieldwork
Tragon
Some of these companies have sites in other cities as well, but if you live somewhere else, you may want to google it to find other companies in your specific area.
I hope this is helpful for anyone wanting to participate in some focus groups. Feel free to email me with any questions.
Before Caleb was born, I did them fairly frequently. I went to studies about diapers, juice, bacon packaging (proving that I can talk about ANYTHING for two hours), TV shows, snacks, internet usage and many more. I've also participated in taste tests on ice cream, turkey, starburst, 7up and more. By the way, taste testing thirty samples of the same, but slightly different product is the fastest way to guarantee that you won't want to eat it anytime soon. I also turned down a study on tuna salad. While I occasionally eat tuna salad, I couldn't stomach the thought of a room full of tuna salad samples and tasting it over and over for an hour. Even I have limits to what I'll do to earn $50.
I've just started back up with doing focus groups again. There are multiple reasons. One being we have four children and any extra money is always appreciated. The second is that its kinda fun to get out of the house. Third is that the twins are in school and its much easier to find a friend willing to watch two children than four (my goal is to try to go to the groups without having to pay for babysitting and cutting into my "profits).
This week has been a jackpot week as far as focus groups go, I'm participating in an at-home diaper study for Caleb, a candy study for the rest of us, and I completed a focus group on dry-erase markers. The candy study only pays $40 but it only involved stopping at the company for five minutes, eating candy at home, and filling out a survey online. The diaper study is more involved, but pays $125. I'll be testing four diapers a day, filling out studies and then returning the diapers to the company (yep, returning used diapers). The dry erase marker one was my favorite. They paid me $25 to do homework where I described my favorite dry erase markers and accessories, made a collage and took pictures of where dry erase boards hang in my home. Then I was paid $125 to talk about this with 4 other women for about an hour. They also let us pick out new packs of fancy dry erase markers to take home and keep. Since its something I use and hate spending money on, I was happy. All in all, not a bad week of earnings for this stay-at-home mom.
I've had several people ask me how to get involved. First, you need to find your local focus group companies. They all have websites where you can sign up to join their database. When you sign up, be sure to fill in all the possible areas that apply to you (pets owned, hobbies enjoyed, children) because that data will be what they use to decide who qualifies. They also have different locations where they do studies (some in the city, some in the suburb). I always check that I'm interested in all locations, so that I get called more often, but if you're never going to drive into the city to do one, then say so. If you do go downtown, just make sure that your parking is validated. I'd hate to pay $20 for parking out of my earnings.
Secondly, you should "like" the company on your fb page. They will often post studies that they are trying to fill on facebook, so it is a way to apply to be involved in a study.
Third, you should expect to get phone calls and emails with "screeners" (short questionaires) for you to complete. In order to book you into a focus group, they will need to know a lot of information. Sometimes the phone calls can take 15-20 minutes as they have to have certain criteria met based on what the focus group is trying to accomplish. Some of the recruiters will tell you what they are looking for (to make it easier for you to qualify) and others will just want you to answer it however you would. Also, expect to answer one cheesy question like "If you were a drink, what drink would it be and why?" or "If you could be an animal, what would it be and why?" These are basically tests to see if you're capable of talking and describing reasons why you chose something. This is important because that is what you'll be doing in a focus group. They don't care what your answer is to the question, just that you can think of something and back it up. Thankfully, you'll never see the person you are telling the answer to, so you can be as cheesy and cliche as you want.
The last place I use to find out about focus groups is craigslist. In the Chicago area, focus groups are often advertised on Craigslist. They are under the "Jobs" forum and under the subcategory of "ETC." This will also have jobs for donating your eggs, surrogacy and other part-time jobs. I've participated in several focus groups by finding them on craigslist. I do want to warn you though. Use your judgement. You should never have to give your social security number to participate in a focus group. And you should never have to give bank account information to get paid. I've always been paid in cash or with a check. If it seems fishy, don't do it.
Here are some links to companies that I've participated in focus groups with in the Chicago area if you want to sign up with their database. If there is a chance to say that I referred you, please do. At least one company does a drawing each month and awards giftcards to both the referred and the referring person.
Schlesinger Associates
Focuscope
Delve
Fieldwork
Tragon
Some of these companies have sites in other cities as well, but if you live somewhere else, you may want to google it to find other companies in your specific area.
I hope this is helpful for anyone wanting to participate in some focus groups. Feel free to email me with any questions.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Photo Books & Memories
I'm an avid picture taker, which means we have thousands upon thousands of digital pictures. I struggle to keep up with the editing and storing of all our digital pictures, let alone make photo books from them. However, I have taken the time to make a few photo books from some of our family vacations over the years. The rest are in the design stage (in my mind) and on my never ending to-do list.
I also made baby photo books for each of the boys (Caleb's is still in the design phase) in lieu of the traditional "baby book." I did this because it was easier, faster and customizable. I was able to write the story of how we learned we were pregnant and include pictures of them growing inside my tummy. I also included the story of their names--why we chose it and what it means. I also included whatever milestones I wanted since it wasn't a fill in the blank format. Some of the "milestones" are unconventional like how many diapers we went through the first two weeks that the twins were born (427!!) and when their first plane flight occurred.
The boys LOVE to look through these books, but I keep them stored out of sight in our entertainment cabinet because I don't want them to get ruined, but I also like the boys having access to them. We also keep our regular photo albums in the same spot. Periodically, they'll ask to look through the books with me.
This morning when I headed upstairs to take a shower, the three big boys were playing a wild game in our playroom that I figured would soon end badly (ie..at least one person crying). When I got done showering and getting dressed for the day, I was surprised to find them all standing side-by-side with photo books open on the couch. Their backs were to me, so they didn't know I was there. Like any good parent, I eavesdropped on their conversation.
I heard Aaron ask "Who is that?" pointing to a baby.
James' response was "You know that has to be you because you have a completely different look than Andrew and me." (So says the identical twin).
A few seconds later, I heard Andrew exclaim "Look at this one, its just Adorable!!!"
There were many more cute comments but I didn't write them down and twelve hours later, they've left my mind. Each boy was squealing in delight as he discovered the blanket he still loves and sleeps with was in pictures with him when he was a baby. They were sharing details with each other that I've told them over and over as we've flipped through those books and discussed the pictures. They would get excited when they found pictures of special places we've visited on vacations or playdates.
This scene filled my heart today. They're retelling the stories Jon & I have told them. They're reminiscing. They're SHARING. In a home full of superheros battling bad guys, wrestling, light saber duels and countless other testosterone-driven activities, I'm thankful when I see these moments of cherishing pictures and the stories that go along with them.
The calm but excited reminiscing did not last long (they are 4 and 6 year old boys after all). It was maybe just twenty or thirty minutes. However, before they went back to using the hotwheels tracks as weapons and tying superheroes to the helium-filled balloons we bought them for Valentine's Day, they pulled out their signature books from our trip to Disney a year and a half ago.
These signature books were the books we hauled around us during our week at Disney and pulled out each time we saw a character. The boys have over 40 signatures in those books and pictures with all the characters. They were flipping through the books trying to read all the signatures and glancing at the pictures. It was all happy memories and excitement for the boys, but for me, I remembered some of the grueling lines waiting for Woody & Jessie from Toy Story. I remembered the attempts to keep three preschool-age boys from touching it other while they waited in line to hug a character and get a signature. I remember their tears when Aladdin and Jasmine had a schedule change and we were informed that they had to "rush back to Agrabah" and wouldn't there to say hi. I remember Jon and I biting our tongues when they asked to get in line for yet ANOTHER character greeting.
When the boys look at those books, they think of the excitement and fun it was to meet all those characters. I look at those 47 signatures and think, we waited in 47 lines with 4 small children? What were we smoking?!? Then I remember the twinkle in their eyes and the smiles that reached to their ears when they met the character that are captures in the pictures. I remember James (dressed as Peter Pan) getting to "fight" the real Captain Hook with his dagger. I remember Aaron gasping when he saw Pinocchio and was able to give him a big hug on our last day. I remember Andrew being able to tell Chip and Dale apart everytime without hesitation and the fact that I still don't know who is who (you'd think a mom of twins would be able to figure it out). And I look at their faces right now and see that same joy there. They are reliving it. Isn't that what family vacations and pictures are for? Its not only the experience in the moment, but the reliving it, the memory of it.
I also made baby photo books for each of the boys (Caleb's is still in the design phase) in lieu of the traditional "baby book." I did this because it was easier, faster and customizable. I was able to write the story of how we learned we were pregnant and include pictures of them growing inside my tummy. I also included the story of their names--why we chose it and what it means. I also included whatever milestones I wanted since it wasn't a fill in the blank format. Some of the "milestones" are unconventional like how many diapers we went through the first two weeks that the twins were born (427!!) and when their first plane flight occurred.
The boys LOVE to look through these books, but I keep them stored out of sight in our entertainment cabinet because I don't want them to get ruined, but I also like the boys having access to them. We also keep our regular photo albums in the same spot. Periodically, they'll ask to look through the books with me.
This morning when I headed upstairs to take a shower, the three big boys were playing a wild game in our playroom that I figured would soon end badly (ie..at least one person crying). When I got done showering and getting dressed for the day, I was surprised to find them all standing side-by-side with photo books open on the couch. Their backs were to me, so they didn't know I was there. Like any good parent, I eavesdropped on their conversation.
I heard Aaron ask "Who is that?" pointing to a baby.
James' response was "You know that has to be you because you have a completely different look than Andrew and me." (So says the identical twin).
A few seconds later, I heard Andrew exclaim "Look at this one, its just Adorable!!!"
There were many more cute comments but I didn't write them down and twelve hours later, they've left my mind. Each boy was squealing in delight as he discovered the blanket he still loves and sleeps with was in pictures with him when he was a baby. They were sharing details with each other that I've told them over and over as we've flipped through those books and discussed the pictures. They would get excited when they found pictures of special places we've visited on vacations or playdates.
This scene filled my heart today. They're retelling the stories Jon & I have told them. They're reminiscing. They're SHARING. In a home full of superheros battling bad guys, wrestling, light saber duels and countless other testosterone-driven activities, I'm thankful when I see these moments of cherishing pictures and the stories that go along with them.
The calm but excited reminiscing did not last long (they are 4 and 6 year old boys after all). It was maybe just twenty or thirty minutes. However, before they went back to using the hotwheels tracks as weapons and tying superheroes to the helium-filled balloons we bought them for Valentine's Day, they pulled out their signature books from our trip to Disney a year and a half ago.
These signature books were the books we hauled around us during our week at Disney and pulled out each time we saw a character. The boys have over 40 signatures in those books and pictures with all the characters. They were flipping through the books trying to read all the signatures and glancing at the pictures. It was all happy memories and excitement for the boys, but for me, I remembered some of the grueling lines waiting for Woody & Jessie from Toy Story. I remembered the attempts to keep three preschool-age boys from touching it other while they waited in line to hug a character and get a signature. I remember their tears when Aladdin and Jasmine had a schedule change and we were informed that they had to "rush back to Agrabah" and wouldn't there to say hi. I remember Jon and I biting our tongues when they asked to get in line for yet ANOTHER character greeting.
When the boys look at those books, they think of the excitement and fun it was to meet all those characters. I look at those 47 signatures and think, we waited in 47 lines with 4 small children? What were we smoking?!? Then I remember the twinkle in their eyes and the smiles that reached to their ears when they met the character that are captures in the pictures. I remember James (dressed as Peter Pan) getting to "fight" the real Captain Hook with his dagger. I remember Aaron gasping when he saw Pinocchio and was able to give him a big hug on our last day. I remember Andrew being able to tell Chip and Dale apart everytime without hesitation and the fact that I still don't know who is who (you'd think a mom of twins would be able to figure it out). And I look at their faces right now and see that same joy there. They are reliving it. Isn't that what family vacations and pictures are for? Its not only the experience in the moment, but the reliving it, the memory of it.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Firezone
A few years ago, a new play area opened up in Schaumburg called Firezone. When I read about it, I knew it would be perfect for my boys. They could dress up like firemen and climb all over a real firetruck and ambulance. It seemed like every little boys dream come true. We ventured there a few times with different friends and they always had a blast.
We haven't been there since Caleb was born, so this winter we put certificates in each of the boys' stockings to take them to Firezone. Today was President's Day and we were off school, so I decided it was the perfect day to go.
All four boys had fun. We don't venture to play areas like this much these days because we have different preschool, kindergarten and speech therapy pickup and drop off times. Back before the boys were in any kind of school, playdates at kid-themed places like this were a weekly staple in my life.
Today as I looked around the room during story-time, I realized how big my boys have gotten. I wasn't there juggling an infant and two toddlers on my lap like I use to do during my days of Aaron's babyhood. Instead, I have three pretty independent boys and one 20-month old "baby" (I use that term loosely since he is way more little boy than baby). I did have to follow Caleb around pretty closely since he loves stairs, climbing and being dangerous (not a good combination).
The woman next to me was struggling to nurse her infant under a cover while her 3 year old had a good 'ole crying and screaming fit in the middle of the quiet story and snack time. Its only been a little over a year since I was in that phase, but it already seems long gone. When I looked at her, I remembered the stress that those outings sometime provided me as I attempted to teach the boys how to keep their hands to themselves, to take turns, and make sure each of 3 dependent little ones was safe in a crowd of preschoolers.
While I sometimes miss those days where we could spend all day in our pjs and my babies loved to snuggle with me, I do enjoy these days. Today when we go on outings, they know how to share, can find the bathroom on their own (and use it) and I don't have to walk behind each one of them making sure that they are safe. Those days, months, and years of repeatedly working on behaviors like asking before taking and keeping your hands to yourself are gone. Don't get me wrong, we've replaced them with other things we are working on, but progress has been made and the focus of my parenting has changed.
I'm not sure why it struck me so much today, but it did. Sometimes in the midst of parenting, I struggle to find progress and instead focus on the things that are left to work on. I'm thankful for the reminder that today showed me, there are seasons of parenting and that looking back doesn't always have to be sad, it can be joyful. I enjoyed those early years of multiple little ones (not every moment, but overall, I did) and I'm enjoying this phase too. Again, not every single moment, but many moments each day.
When I look through this pictures, I'm amazed at how Aaron has changed. Those chubby baby cheeks have melted away and left a little boy in its place. When I look at Caleb, I know that his babyhood is coming to an end. I see more and more of his personality and heart bursting through. I see glimpses of a little boy emerging. He is starting to play with cars and trains. He is dancing, laughing, and changing almost overnight. I am soaking up these last days of babyhood and anticipating another strong boy voice in my house, full of ideas, jokes, plans and questions. When I get to the never-ending question phase with Caleb, please remind me that I said I was looking forward to it.
We haven't been there since Caleb was born, so this winter we put certificates in each of the boys' stockings to take them to Firezone. Today was President's Day and we were off school, so I decided it was the perfect day to go.
All four boys had fun. We don't venture to play areas like this much these days because we have different preschool, kindergarten and speech therapy pickup and drop off times. Back before the boys were in any kind of school, playdates at kid-themed places like this were a weekly staple in my life.
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| My 3 "big boys" mugging for the camera today. |
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| My 3 boys (back when there were only 3) buckled into the ambulance a few year ago. I love that Aaron has his Minnie Mouse buckled in too. I had forgotten about the stage where Minnie and Daisy went EVERYwhere with him. |
Today as I looked around the room during story-time, I realized how big my boys have gotten. I wasn't there juggling an infant and two toddlers on my lap like I use to do during my days of Aaron's babyhood. Instead, I have three pretty independent boys and one 20-month old "baby" (I use that term loosely since he is way more little boy than baby). I did have to follow Caleb around pretty closely since he loves stairs, climbing and being dangerous (not a good combination).
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| Caleb's favorite part was climbing up and down the stairs to get on the firetruck. |
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| K playing peekaboo through the window. |
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| James always posed and ready for a picture. |
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| Andrew is my serious one when it comes to pictures. |
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| Aaron all grown up. |
While I sometimes miss those days where we could spend all day in our pjs and my babies loved to snuggle with me, I do enjoy these days. Today when we go on outings, they know how to share, can find the bathroom on their own (and use it) and I don't have to walk behind each one of them making sure that they are safe. Those days, months, and years of repeatedly working on behaviors like asking before taking and keeping your hands to yourself are gone. Don't get me wrong, we've replaced them with other things we are working on, but progress has been made and the focus of my parenting has changed.
I'm not sure why it struck me so much today, but it did. Sometimes in the midst of parenting, I struggle to find progress and instead focus on the things that are left to work on. I'm thankful for the reminder that today showed me, there are seasons of parenting and that looking back doesn't always have to be sad, it can be joyful. I enjoyed those early years of multiple little ones (not every moment, but overall, I did) and I'm enjoying this phase too. Again, not every single moment, but many moments each day.
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| Caleb driving the firetruck today. |
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| Aaron driving the same truck 2+ years ago. |
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| No, I didn't adopt a 5th boy--that kid in the background isn't mine. Also, please notice how happy Caleb is in this picture. |
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| My Boys |
When does "laid back" just become Lazy?
A few weeks back, I was struggling to keep up with the demands of clothing, feeding, and taking care of a family of 6. I blame my sinus congestion and the onset of February...the grayest, worst month of Chicago winter for taking me into a new realm of laziness. I was so lazy, I didn't even finish this post back when I wrote it two weeks ago. So, I finally got around to finishing it today.
Here goes:
There is a war going on inside of me between being the uptight/organized mom and the laid-back one. I've been calling it "laid-back" but this week I started wondering if perhaps my idea of "laid back" is sometimes crossing over the line and into the territory of just plain lazy?
For example, Caleb unwrapped an entire roll of toilet paper in our master bathroom this week. Normally I'd take the time to re-roll the toilet paper to use it. This time, I just picked up pieces of toilet paper off the floor as I needed them. Which means that I left toilet paper strewn about our bathroom for at least 24 hours until we had used it all up. I'm pretty sure that's just plain being lazy.
Caleb has a habit of taking his shoes and socks off every time we go somewhere in the car. He's too young to realize that its winter here. I got tired of having to keep putting his socks and shoes on. My solution has been to put him in zip-up blanket sleepers instead of real clothes. This past week, I took him to a doctor appointment, Target, the grocery store, his brother's basketball class and church in pajamas. A lot of people commented that he looked cute, warm or "ready for bed." I'd like to say that the reason I keep him in his pajamas is because its warmer, but honestly its because its easier. I ALWAYS dressed the older boys in real clothes and shoes at this age, but I had a lot more energy five years ago. Sorry Sweet Baby Boy #4--all your pictures from this winter are going to be your in fleece blanket sleepers.
Now that I've pushed through the head cold and we're over halfway through February, I've started dressing Caleb in clothes again and the last time he unrolled the TP, I actually rerolled it. While there are still constantly crumbs on my kitchen floors, superhero "guys" in my shower, school papers on my counters and tables, and shoes falling out of their cubbies in the entryway, the extreme laziness has left (at least for now).
Here goes:
There is a war going on inside of me between being the uptight/organized mom and the laid-back one. I've been calling it "laid-back" but this week I started wondering if perhaps my idea of "laid back" is sometimes crossing over the line and into the territory of just plain lazy?
For example, Caleb unwrapped an entire roll of toilet paper in our master bathroom this week. Normally I'd take the time to re-roll the toilet paper to use it. This time, I just picked up pieces of toilet paper off the floor as I needed them. Which means that I left toilet paper strewn about our bathroom for at least 24 hours until we had used it all up. I'm pretty sure that's just plain being lazy.
Caleb has a habit of taking his shoes and socks off every time we go somewhere in the car. He's too young to realize that its winter here. I got tired of having to keep putting his socks and shoes on. My solution has been to put him in zip-up blanket sleepers instead of real clothes. This past week, I took him to a doctor appointment, Target, the grocery store, his brother's basketball class and church in pajamas. A lot of people commented that he looked cute, warm or "ready for bed." I'd like to say that the reason I keep him in his pajamas is because its warmer, but honestly its because its easier. I ALWAYS dressed the older boys in real clothes and shoes at this age, but I had a lot more energy five years ago. Sorry Sweet Baby Boy #4--all your pictures from this winter are going to be your in fleece blanket sleepers.
Now that I've pushed through the head cold and we're over halfway through February, I've started dressing Caleb in clothes again and the last time he unrolled the TP, I actually rerolled it. While there are still constantly crumbs on my kitchen floors, superhero "guys" in my shower, school papers on my counters and tables, and shoes falling out of their cubbies in the entryway, the extreme laziness has left (at least for now).
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