While I also love meaningful conversations, I think there is something special (maybe even magical)about putting something heartfelt and honest down in writing. I love holding notes from others in my hand. Often it takes courage to write out something and hand it to another person because its permanent and its requires being intentional, honest and vulnerable.
Sometimes I go back and re-read old letters. Recently, my mom handed me a bag of letters that I had saved from my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college. These letters are from before everyone had texting plans (or even cell phones for that matter), before facebook and right when email was starting to take off. While reading those letters, I laughed, teared up and was amazed by things I'd forgotten. I had letters in there from my grandmother (her last letters to me before she died), friends at other colleges, friends I had left behind at high school, my little sister who was in fourth grade at the time, my parents and my college roommates as we'd send notes back and forth through the campus mail. These letters are precious to me. Some are funny, but many of them are just encouraging and full of updates of what was going on in our lives. What a treasure to have a snapshot into my life and feelings at that time of life so long ago.
In our house full of six people, it is easy for tempers to flare, words to become caustic, tones to become irritated and for verbal fighting. I try hard to say words of love and encouragement to my kids, but I'll be honest, sometimes I fail especially in the moment where there is fighting, tattle tailing, and disrespect. I'm working on this, but I also wanted to try implementing a system where we work to encourage each others, and not just the parents encouraging the kids. The boys encouraging each other too and as it turns out, the boys encouraging the parents as well.
Recently, a friend posted these adorable mini mailboxes that she got at Target's $1 spot. I immediately stole the idea by heading to my target and buying six of them. I did this about two or three weeks ago, but the other day, I finally got around to clearing out a spot in our entryway to set them up.
I explained to the boys that they were to leave notes or little surprises for each other and that you put the flag up when there is something in it. They were immediately excited. They spent about 30 minutes writing notes to each other. They used up all my notecards, so Andrew found some paper and scissors and cute small shapes out to write on. Their spelling is atrocious because they are in Kindergarten and its all phonetic spelling, but its adorable to me.
My first note was this one from James. The translation is
"Dear Mom, Thanks for making food for me. Love, James."
I wrote them simple notes. "Dear Andrew, I love how hard you work at memorizing Awana verses, You Rock! Love, Mommy" or "Dear Aaron, you are so good at doing floor puzzles. I love you my snuggly boy, Mommy" and "Dear James, You work hard to do your homework well. Good job!I love you, Mom" Nothing earth shattering. Just small words of recognition. Small words of encouragement. The notes are just another way to say I see you, I recognize you, You matter to me.
Its amazing what a difference a two sentence note can make in someone's attitude (I know because it does for me, just ask my husband). After I read his note, Aaron immediately went upstairs to do some more floor puzzles and was so proud of himself. While reading Andrew his note, his face beamed and when I read James his note, he laughed a nervous but proud giggle. Caleb isn't phased too much by his notes, but he's only 20 months so that's kinda to be expected.
I know that the newness of these little mailboxes will wear off eventually but I'm hoping that we can always find a way to incorporate writing notes of encouragement to each other (there are so many ways, lunchtime notes, messages on the bathroom mirror, etc). Written words of encouragement are appropriate not just on special occasions, but everyday. Since we put these mailboxes up, I find myself watching my kids more closely for things to recognize and write to them about. And I think that's a good thing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
I love love love this idea! I think I will steal it...once I figure out where to set it up :) Seriously, you are raising some boys that are going to make some ladies very lucky some day!
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