Date Night with Andrew

Once upon a time, I use to regularly do date nights with each of the boys, but then things got busy and I got out of the habit.  Sometimes we did big events like the time I took Aaron to see Veggietales Live.  Other times we did low key stuff like playing card games over hot chocolate and coffee at our local Caribou. 

Confession:  Last night Andrew & I had a hard night.  Picture a temper tantrum, some yelling, tears and endless frustration.

Even worse confession:  Our fight was over the memorization of Bible verses for Awana. 

Its a long story, but I didn't grow up doing Awana.  Andrew had busted his butt to learn 8 sections of verses the week before, but I had goofed and didn't teach him that he just had to say them one after the other without any hint word (like say verse #4 or section 3 now).  So, he didn't get through all of them and was super frustrated that he had to resay all the same verses again this week.  And that's when things went downhill. 

When I admitted there was a big temper tantrum and some bad behavior, I should admit, it wasn't just Andrew.  It was me too.  Ok.  It was a lot me.  It wasn't my best parenting moment by a long shot.

We did regroup.  I apologized.  He recovered from the frustration.  I took him upstairs away from the chaos of the other three and we practiced in the quiet.  I told him how proud I was of how hard he had been working and was continuing to work.  After he got home from Awana, I asked him if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow.

Its no surprise that sometimes its difficult to connect on-one-one with one of your children in the midst of caring for several little bodies and the demands of day to day life as a family of six.  Much like Jon & I need date nights to communicate with each other, I find that "date nights" with each of the boys individually can do wonders for our communication, their confidence, and my parenting skills. 

In that on-on-one setting, I have the freedom to tell Andrew the things I love about him without his brothers becoming jealous.  I have the time to ask him questions and listen to all his stories without interruptions or distractions. 

I surprised him with heading out to get cheeseburgers at Barleycorn. On a side note, we use to go to this restaurant all the time when they a daily special of Kids Eat Free.  Since they stopped that special, we haven't been back (big surprise).  Recently, Andrew said he wished he could go there again because they had the best cheeseburgers and spicy pepper fries.  So we went.

Over dinner, we discussed all sorts of things classes at school, future dating, favorite vacations and places we'd like to visit.  He brought up the fact this his middle-school aged cousin has a "girlfriend" so then we starting talking about liking girls and dating.  I'd also like to take a moment and document it here that Andrew insisted that he wouldn't be dating until he was 36 years old.  I told him that I was 33 right now and had been married for almost 10 years, so that meant I was dating his dad when I was 22 and 23.  Despite that, he is sticking with his story that he's gonna wait until he is 36 years old.  I asked him what kind of dates he'll go on like seeing plays, going to dinner, seeing a movie, etc.  He said that he'll be renting movies from redbox and watching them at home (his home).  So, again, he insisted that he won't be dating until he's out of our home and living on his own.  Hilarious!

After dinner, I decided we should check out the newly opened Yogurtland by our house because frozen yogurt makes perfect sense when its 10 degrees outside.  We taste-tested several flavors.  Andrew landed on the red velvet cupcake with an assortment of candies on top and I went boring and just had the original tart yogurt.  It was so cold, we had to keep our coats on while we ate dessert, but it was worth it.  Next, we made a quick stop at the library on our way home to get some movies and Wii games for the weekend.

They have 10 flavors and they let you sample as many as you want. 

It was a sweet two and a half hours.  My heart is full of new memories with him.  The sheepish, embarrassed smiles that he gave me when we discussed girls and dating when he grows up.  His belly laughs when I told him funny stories about things my siblings & I did as children.  His preference to sit next to me instead of across the booth while we ate dinner.  Asking each other silly questions while we shared french fries.  My hope is that his heart is filled up too. 

Now to find time for two more dates in the next week for those two other boys who so patiently stayed home tonight.