When you have cream colored carpet...

When you are childless and move into a new house, you will pick out cream colored carpet for your living room, dining room and hallway/stairs. You will think cream colored carpet is pretty until you have children little balls of energy that make crazy messes, then you will regret that carpet every single day.

When you first have children, you will swear that they will only have snacks in the kitchen sitting at the table, then you will get lazy when the amount of children outnumbers the mom and give up that rule and let them eat anywhere as long as they aren't fighting with each other and you can run on the treadmill in peace.

When you have cream colored carpet in your dining room and you like to host dinners,
you will be surprised at how many times your husband adults spill on the carpet and curse the person who decided carpet even belongs in a dining room (probably the same person who puts it in master bathrooms--yuck).

When you have cream colored carpet, you will implement a "no shoes on the carpet" rule, it will not work, somehow dirt from shoes will still end up on your carpet.  Also, your mom will think its "funny" that you have this rule since you never followed it growing up in her house.

When you have cream colored carpets, you will try not to drink coffee in the living room, but you will fail at this rule too (because you have many children and need lots of coffee each morning). When you're not looking for two seconds, the toddler will reach over and dump your coffee on said carpet.  He will look pleased, you will not.  This will happen more than once.

When you have cream colored carpets, you will get sick of the stains and finally pony up the cash to have your carpets professionally cleaned.

When you have those carpets professionally cleaned, two of your four children will throw up on the carpet within 48 hours of having those carpets cleaned.  You will not be surprised.  You will question how someone so little can vomit so much? You will laugh at the irony of the flu's timing.  You will lay towels down on top of the upstairs hallway for a few nights just in case either of the other two children decide to throw up on the carpet.

When you have cream colored carpet, you will dream of having hardwood floors someday and you will warn any couples (without kids who intend on having them) to NEVER, EVER get cream colored carpet.

The End