Advent

December 1st is synonymous with Advent in our house.  I grew up celebrating Advent, both at our church (where candles were lit each week) and in our home where we had various Advent calendars.  I loved the chocolate ones where you punched out a holiday-shaped piece of chocolate each day.  We also had a felt tree that you pinned ornaments on each day of the month.  I think someone made it for our family, but I'm not sure who.  The ornaments had sequins on them and I thought they were awesome.  I also felt very grown up using straight pins to hang the ornaments on the felt tree.  It was all very "old school."  My mom also changed it up and several years she did a different activity/present each day.  We would open a small drawer/box in an advent decoration to find out what the advent surprise was for the day.

Now that I'm a mom, I'm in charge of my family's Advent experience.  Last year, I made my own advent calendar.  Here is a picture of it.

Don't judge.  I made this back before I had heard of or given into pinterest.  This calendar certainly isn't "pinterest-worthy."  Its not spectacular, but its functional. 

When I pulled the calendar out this year, it hadn't fared well in storage.  Two of the ribbons had come lose.  Per the directions, I had stapled and taped the ribbons.  This year, I got out the hot glue gun and went to town.  Not only was I flooded with memories from my hot glue and Xacto knife days on an OM (Odyssey of the Mind) team as a child, but I also felt the calendar was sturdy enough to last through the month.

I hung the calendar in our dining room window as it would be well out of Caleb's reach (Jon actually hung it, but I decided where and made the calendar, so I'm also claiming credit for hanging it).  I also implemented a rule that only an adult was allowed to open the Advent calendar envelopes (in an effort to keep the calendar "safe").  The good news is that it has stayed out of Caleb's reach.  The bad news is that I didn't take into account the 3 other rowdy boys that reside in this house.

The calendar made it until day 6 without problems.  In the last 12 hours, the calendar has been accidentally knocked down and semi-demolished TWICE.  The first time, I was relatively patient but a little annoyed as the boys were playing on the far side of our dining room between the table and the window where they aren't suppose to be (even when there isn't a calendar involved).  Two ribbons came lose.  This afternoon while the twins were at school, I got the hot glue gun out, repaired it and rehung the daily pockets.

About an hour after I hung the calendar back in the window and after several requests for Aaron to stop playing by the dining room table, the calendar fell again from Aaron bumping into it.  This time, the ribbons held but the cards (and their contents) were all over the floor.  So, I spent twenty minutes putting it back together.

To say I was annoyed would be a vast understatement.  Keeping up with our household chores and 'normal' activities alone is more than I can handle on some days.  Adding in a daily activity for Advent can easily push me to (and past) my limit, especially if there is complaining or multiple demands from the kids.  Two days ago, I confessed to my friend Jaime that I had to give myself a timeout during our advent activity because I was losing my temper with the kids after they repeatedly didn't follow directions.  My primary goal for our advent activities is to be creating family memories.  I would prefer that they be good ones and not ones of good ole' mom unraveling at the seams.  I also told my friend that I really wish they sold patience at Target.  I'd be stocking up if they did.

While I was getting the calendar put back together tonight, I was peppered with questions: "When are we doing the advent calendar? Is Dad home yet?  When is dinner?  What's for dinner?  When is the Christmas party?  Can I have a snack?  Is it time for the advent calendar?"  Whew...it was exhausting, but I managed to stay cool.

The thing about Advent activities, holidays, family gatherings, and pretty much any special occasion with kids is that they don't stop being kids.  There will be tantrums.  There will be tears.  There will be fighting.  There will be spills.  There will be whining.  There will be questions.  So many questions!  There will be more bad pictures than you can imagine.  Kids have all sorts of ways to make pictures less than ideal such as not keeping their eyes open, not smiling or in our case have their hands somewhere inappropriate (like up their nose or down their pants).  This is life.  Those day to day behaviors don't stop just because its time for making special memories.  And the need to parent and discipline doesn't disappear.  You won't always get that beautiful snapshot or the perfect outing you were hoping for, trust me, I know.  My kids don't even need the sugar to get hyped up, just knowing its something "special" puts them into a tizzy.  While it can be exhausting, this is also one of the things I love about them.  They LOVE life.  They love to LIVE.  They get excited about the smallest things. 

While I sometimes focus on all the things that aren't going according to my expectations during these times, there are a lot of positives to be recognized.  Pictures are being taken.  Memories are being made.  Traditions are being built.  Children are being taught.  Hearts are being shaped (mine too!).

It is so easy for me to get caught up in executing the activity well (I'm a type-A, goal-oriented person).  I have to remind myself to adjust my expectations.  I'm not striving to always get the perfect picture or the activity without any disruptions.  Sure, its nice to have those moments where there isn't crying, everyone gets along well, and our activity goes off like a Norman Rockwell picture.  But its not reality, at least not mine in this house of four boys.  And these moments (whether they are pulled off without a hitch or are full of problems) do not happen effortlessly.  It is going to be work--the preparation ahead of time, the being "on" during the moments, and the clean-up afterwards.  It would be so much easier to skip out on many of these things, but I love the point of many of our activities (helping others, being generous and being present with others) and the boys are genuinely learning and having fun.  

So, I will stay up late planning our activities, doing the extra clean up, and uploading the pictures (good and bad) because these four little boys are worth it.